


Nightmares through Time

by Raz_B_Rose



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Anger, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Guilt, Nightmares, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26413402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raz_B_Rose/pseuds/Raz_B_Rose
Summary: The Timephoon incident has left Louie feeling a lot of different things and Della's still fairly new presence added to the mix is a recipe for drama.
Relationships: Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Lena & Webby Vanderquack
Comments: 14
Kudos: 90





	Nightmares through Time

**Author's Note:**

> Totally forgot about this and remembered while going through my docs. Wrote it when I was in need of some Louie Angst and still might go throuhg and edit it, but fro now I'll just post it as is before I forget about it again.

Louie’s hand slipped off the tubs spoked knob, his heart pounding in his ears as he regained his grip. He willed his hands to stop shaking, he couldn’t mess this up. A panicked glance at the advancing mob gave him the extra boost he needed to finish adjusting what he needed. He jumped on the top, pointing the shower head at the growing crowd of past citizens of the world. The blue light blinded him as everyone was returned to their proper time. 

He stood there, waiting in the silence of the halls. Not completely silent though, he could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner. The seconds quite literally ticked by, adding together into minutes upon minutes. Soon those minutes added together for a far greater amount than it should have. He should have fixed everything. 

His hands begin to shake violently, nothing compared to the jitter that they were when he was trying to get the tub to work. His chest felt tight, his throat tightening with each baited breath. He climbed down from the tub, eyeing the foyer with failing hope. 

“Guys?” There was no response. The ticking of the seconds continued to be the only sound. 

“Huey, Dewey, come on…” Louie curled into a ball on the floor. The painful pressure continued to build behind his eyes, or was it on the rims of his eyes? Both? Doesn't matter, just that he was crying, the silence quickly filled with the sounds of his heaving breaths and broken sobs. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you can come back now, I learned my lesson.” He choked out, screaming into the very empty, too large mansion.

He wished to hear Mrs. Beakley’s lecturing tone, berating him for his latest stunt. Webby playing peacemaker, maybe even telling him about all the things he did wrong in that logical voice of hers. To hear Scrooge lecture him about the value of hardwork. 

Heck.

He even wanted to hear Della's, his moms, voice. They might still have a rocky relationship, but he wanted to try. _Wanted_ to try. 

He looked up, gasping in horror. The walls were rotted and dust heavily sat upon everything. He stood up, spinning in a wide circle. The tub sat at the foot of the stairs, rusted and falling apart. 

"No!" He rushed to the tub, wanting to touch it, but knowing deep down, he shouldn't. Why were his hands so big? When did he get so old? Where had all the time gone?

He hadn't just failed, he had been alone for years. He had killed his brothers. Sent them far away from him, to suffer through the past alone. Leaving him to suffer through the future alone. 

He gasped, hands gripped in the sheets tangled around his body. He felt as though he was being punched in the chest, over and over. He couldn't make out the bottom of Dewey's bunk, even though he knew it was there. Just a black void. 

He slowed his breathing, carefully sitting up, knees to chest, head thrown in his hands. 

The nightmares wouldn't stop. It has been months, and he just couldn't shake it. What's more his mother's words continued to plague his mind, every living moment. They just played on repeat. 

_"Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future"_

He had always wondered who she was exactly thinking about when she said those words. Was he considered, or did he get in the way of her perfect little family of three? 

_"I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a short cut to riches"_

'I watched them disappear too.' He smacks himself in the head, self loathing boiling in the pit of his stomach like it does every time he has a nightmare. 

He had never been apart from Huey or Dewey. They had always been together. He was lost without them. He needed them to get him out of trouble. Trouble he always got himself into. 

_"Your plans- your schemes- they only lead to bad things for your family"_

He always put on the air of not caring, of being completely self-focused and distant. That he didn't need anyone, but that wasn't true. He always needed his brothers. 

He was trying to help the only way he knew how. He wasn't special like Huey or daring like Dewey. He was just plain old Louellyn Duck. The youngest, last, forgotten triplet. 

Della (he couldn't bring himself to call her mom to himself quite yet) hadn't really gone out of her way to get to know him. 

She spent most of her time with Dewey and any leftover time with Huey. She tried sitting with him on the couch once, but quickly left. 

Before the Timephoon incident, he tried getting her involved with one of his schemes. She wasn't paying attention as he talked, quick to shoot down the idea. She refused to _see_ him. To _know_ him. 

He had tried, and tried and tried. He tried to see what Scrooge was talking about, with them seeing all the angles and him being like Della. That was just one angle he couldn't see. Not anymore. 

_"You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences or the people you would hurt"_

Maybe they were more alike after all.

_"Classic Louie"_ That's what Dewey had said. 

Louie lays his head down on his knee, watching the small patch of moon flicker on the floor, the clouds moving quickly across the sky. 

But he had one thing Della never would. The last ten years of his life with his brothers. Even if he almost threw that all away in an instant. Just thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. 

_"If you want to be a part of this family...you've got to stop"_

Louie couldn't hold it back anymore, the tears were soft, falling in big, fat, silent drops. Those words alone spoke volumes about how Della, who was supposed to be his _mom_ , really felt about him. 

He wasn't what she wanted. Whatever image she had built up in her head, he clearly didn't meet it. He was a disappointment. A fraud. Not truly a part of this family. What did family mean to Della, if she made such a point of him understanding what family was. To her, he had to be someone he wasn't.

But it wasn't for a lack of trying. He tried to put in more effort for things that didn't catch his interest. He helped Huey with Junior Woodchuck achievements. Whatever Dewey wanted to do that day, that's what he did. He even took up reading history to help Webby. 

Even all of that was selfish though. He was afraid to be alone. Afraid that if he looked away from just a moment, they would be gone. 

He slipped from his bed, his bare feet barely making a sound as he walked across the room to the chair he had taken up as his post. He barely slept anymore, content to sit and watch his brothers sleep, finding small comfort in their presence. 

He watched Dewey sleep in a position that could not be comfortable. His head was twisted, with one arm behind it and the other haphazardly over the side of his bunk along with a leg. His other leg was bent inward. Good thing he's a flexible kid. 

Huey however always slept perfectly tucked in, both hands resting on his stomach, feet pointed up from under his blanket. 

Louie smiled at them, hugging his knees to himself. He loved his brothers with all his heart, more than riches, more than pep, more than himself. Definitely more than himself right now. 

Slowly, the sun rose. And with that Louie moved from his chair, content that his brothers were safe without him watching them for a few minutes. 

He got ready for the day, the new habit of being up before Huey a bewildering change to aforementioned boy. Louie smiled to himself, but it was not out of joy. Huey tried to get him to explain why he was suddenly up so early, not accepting any excuse he gave. Louie would never tell them the real reason. 

He had asked the night of the Timephoon what had happened to them. They still haven't told him. They had both looked off to the side, rubbing their arms in discomfort, clear distaste at the question. He left them alone after that, taking the hint that they didn't want to talk to him. They said they forgave him, but it was clear he wasn't trustworthy right now. That scared him too. 

He cleaned the room silently, a morning routine established out of fear of losing his brothers to his inherent selfishness. They couldn't be mad at him if he pulled his own weight from now on. He could prove his value to this family, even if it was just cleaning up messes. 

"Louie what are you doing?" 

He jumped, careful to not turn around to face Huey. He continued to pick up clothes and toys. 

"Cleaning."

"At 5:30 in the morning?" 

"It's the best time, don't you think. The rest of the day freed up from at least one chore."

"You always, well used to, sleep till 9. What is going on? You hate helping with chores"

"Can't I just help my brothers?" Louie muttered, hating the integration. "Don't you like the new me?" 

"Well, its nice, sure, but you aren't _you_ " 

Louie stopped, arms full of discarded items. He still hadn't turned around. If he looked at Huey now, he knew he would break. Who was he? Who did his brothers want him to be? Huey admitted he liked the changes Louie had taken on, but it wasn’t enough. 

"Louie," Huey said softly, directly behind him. When had he gotten off the top bunk? He tucked his head into his chest. 

"Lou, you can talk to me," his hand gently resting on his shoulder, a slight pressure trying to pull him around. 

"Nothing to talk about. Everything is fine" 

"Nothing is fine. You're not sleeping, you barely eat anymore, and just seem so-" Huey stops, his voice starting to rise. 

"Lou, we are worried about you," This time Louie does turn around, surprised to see Dewey up and standing with Huey. 

They just stare at each other. Louie's gaze goes from one boy to the next. Ironically, they both have identical expressions of concern.

"Louie, is it something we did? Or Scrooge? We can help fix it." Huey says gently, removing his hand from his shoulder, instead clapping them tightly in front of his chest. 

Louie rears back in shock "What?" 

"Yea Louie, let us help fix it." 

"Unless you can help fix me, then there's nothing you can do" the words are spoken without thought. He couldn't help but feel slightly angry that they would blame themselves and even Scrooge (a man of many faults mind you) before placing any blame on Della. 

Maybe he had no right to feel the way he does and Della is right and he's just too selfish and inner focused to see it. Maybe he really doesn't belong in this family. 

Huey looks at him with heartbreak, while Dewey just looks at him in confusion. 

"There's nothing to fix Louie. You're fun the way you are" 

"Yeah, we wouldn't be the same if you were different" 

That's true, if Louie was different, then things would be better. Not how they were right now. If Louie could just _be_ different, if tried hard enough to prove to his brothers and everyone else that he could be who they wanted him to be, things would be better again. 

"I don't fit in. I don't belong. So I have to change to make things better" He argued back. 

He starts putting things away, trying to end the conversation. He knows he's being rougher with the toys then necessary, throwing them into the chest and onto the shelf, but he doesn't care right now. He's on edge and he wants out of this room. 

"Of course you belong!" Dewey exclaims in bewilderment. 

"Where did you even get such an Idea?!" Huey sounds furious. 

"Doesn't matter," he mutters again, wishing he had changed into his hoodie. He felt far too vulnerable in his nightshirt. 

"Did someone say that to you? Thats stupid!" Louie is surprised at Huey's anger, and with that one distracting thought, he is unable to control the flinch he makes at Huey's words. 

Dewey notices, looking at him with searching eyes. "Who said that to you Louie? Is that what all this is about?" 

"This?" He mumbled weakly, hoping to change the subject away from their inquiries. They both loved Della too much for him to bring his own dislike for her into the mix. It would make this already terrible morning worse. 

"The waking up in the middle of the night, the crying, the sudden interest in anything we do, all the cleaning..." Huey lists off more, but Louie stops listening.

Louie just looked at them, feeling his chest being punched once again. His palms felt clammy and he tried really hard to keep his breathing under control. He turned away from them, curling into a ball on the floor. He can’t hear anything except for the blood rushing through his head, and the air entering and leaving his body. 

"I'm going to get mom," Dewey announced, already moving towards the door. 

"No!" Louie lunges after Dewey, tackling him to the floor. 

"Why not? She can help!" Dewey snaps, "She makes everything better!" 

"No she doesn't!" 

"Yes she does!" 

"I don't want to talk to her!"

"Then talk to us!" Dewey snaps again, looking agitated at Louie's refusal to get Della involved. 

If Della came here she would just scold him again. He'd probably get grounded again because he upset Huey and Dewey and nothing he said would make her listen. 

He clamped his beak shut, just vigorously shaking his head. He can feel himself starting to cry again, hands unable to keep their grip on Dewey's cloths as the nerves course through his body. 

_"If you want to be a part of this family...you've got to stop"_

He just needed to stop. 

"Stop what Louie?" 

"Stop being me" he whispers, hiding his face with his hands. He was such a screw up, he could do nothing right. All he could hear was his breathing again, then he felt the hot wet tears on his face again. 

"Louie calm down" Huey hugs him tightly, his body shaking with his own. "You're ok" 

"Louie…" Dewey sat down next to them, putting a hand on his knee. 

"I'm sorry, really really sorry. I mean it!" 

"Sorry about what?" 

"All the trouble I cause, all the problems I started, for making you worry" Louie rambles, trying to list everything and nothing at the same time. 

"Hey we never stop worrying about you, you're our baby brother" Huey strokes his head, holding him tighter. 

"You don't cause problems.." Dewey's own voice starts to shake. 

"Please don't leave me" he chokes out, grabbing on to Huey and Dewey, "I promise I'll change, just please don't leave me" 

Neither boy knows what to say to that, only they can hold him and exchange concerned looks over his head. Eventually Louie falls back asleep, Huey gently tucking him in and following Dewey out of the room. 

They both still don't say anything until they feel they are a safe enough distance not just from their room, but the rest of the occupants of the mansion as well. 

"What started all this?" Dewey whisper yells, clearly still on edge from Louie's melt down.

"I have an idea..I think it was the Timephoon" Huey whispered back. 

"That was forever ago!"

"Yeah but we never really talked about it with him" Huey thinks back to the few weeks he was stuck in the old west. How he struggled to hide in plain sight and how alone he was. 

When he first arrived, he was scared. Then he was angry. Angry at Louie and his stupid selfish get rich quick scheme. Angry that he was alone. Terribly alone. Then suddenly he was back in the foyer. 

He was dazed for a moment, all anger at his brother instantly being replaced with worry has he helped him stand. His hands shook and he offered a wobbly smile. He quickly turned to Dewey, grabbing his face in clear relief. 

Huey still felt angry and definitely found it hard to forgive him. He said the words, they both went through the motions. He could tell that Louie just thought he had to say sorry and that would clean his hands of the whole mess. Huey didn't feel as though he really understood what he put everyone through. His reaction to Moms grounding felt pretty obvious. 

But maybe Huey didn't understand what that whole event put Louie through? 

Dewey looked at Huey, trying to understand why Louie would be having a melt down about that now. 

Sure he had entered up with Webby in one of the greatest eras of all time. Sure he had been alone-ish, without his brothers, for a week. Dewey tried really hard not to think poorly of the experience, after all, it was just another adventure. Another adventure without his brothers or his mom. 

When Louie had asked about where they went, Dewey suddenly realized that time had only passed for a few minutes while he had spent a week away from his family. 

His mom had only gotten back, and he almost lost her all over again. He didn't want to be angry with Louie, but when he asked that question, Dewey couldn't find it in himself to tell him how he was really feeling about the whole thing. Best to just bury it deep inside and forget about it. 

Clearly Louie had not forgotten about it. 

“How can we help if he wont talk to us?” Dewey is frustrated and needs something to do to make things better, and Louie wouldn’t give it to him. 

“He really didn't want us to get mom” Huey murmurs, rubbing his hands together anxiously. Dewey stops his pacing, looking back towards the bedroom. 

“Why?”

“Think about it Dewey, has she ever spent time with Louie? Does she understand him? Like we do?” 

“I’m sure she has..wasn’t there that time, no we were there, or the, nope that was just us” Dewey drifts off into his outloud musings. 

“I’m not saying mom was in the wrong to ground Louie, but I think the whole thing could have been handled better” Huey cuts him off, Dewey growing frantic in trying to think of a time Mom and Louie had spent together. 

“Better?”

Huey rubs his arm in discomfort, “I was, still am a little, mad at him for the whole thing. I was alone for weeks Dewey. Weeks!” 

“I know what you mean, I almost lost mom again” He says it bitterly, speaking the feelings aloud for the first time ever. They both stand in silence, both processing their feelings on the matter internally. 

“I feel like there is something we are missing, and I think it has to do with mom” Huey is the one to break the silence. 

“He would be even more ticked if we went to her without him knowing,” Dewey chimes in, making his way back to the bedroom, “you’re right. He really didn’t want us to get mom.”

They slowly open the door, relieved to see him still on his bunk, chest rising steadily. They get dressed quietly, leaving a note for him. He needed to sleep and the family would understand. 

“We should try to see what we can learn from mom, without directly asking her.”

“How do we do that?”

“Dunno, I’ll come up with something though” They enter the dining room, taking their usual seats, both eyeing the empty one between them with worry. Mrs. Beakley places their breakfast down, Huey stopping her before she places one at Louie’s seat. 

“Louie isn’t feeling good today, he’s still asleep”

“What is he ok?” The boys look at Mom who was halfway into her chair, she looks back the way she had come. 

“Yea, we took care of him, he just needs sleep” Dewey chimes in, shoving a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. He calls out a muffled thank you to Mrs. Beakley who sighs a comment about manners. 

“Are you sure, I should go check on him” Mom is fully out of her chair now.

“He needs to be alone right now,” Huey quickly adds. If Mom was to wake up Louie now, things would probably only get worse. “Trust us.”

“Oh ok,” She sits back down, sending a longing look out the door once more. That was a good sign. 

“It's a shame Louie isn’t feeling good today, I needed his help on getting this old spell book from the city archives,” Lena surprisingly contributes to the conversation. Normally she only interacted with Webby. 

“Louie should know better than to help you with what sounds like an illegal activity” Mom glares at Lena. 

Lena eyes her, studying her, “Louie is good at that stuff, makes it more fun too.” She finished with a shrug.

“Yeah! Louie is so smart!” Webby chimes in, bouncing in her seat, “I really hope he feels better soon!” Lena rolls her eyes fondly at her energy. 

“He always comes up with the best adventures” Dewey chimes in, hopping on Webby’s hype train, “It’s been awhile since we have had one” He sits back down, remembering the morning, and why they need to figure out what happened. 

“Good, it means he’s learning,” Mom’s tone seems to hold a bitterness to it, but Huey felt he could be imagining it. 

“What's wrong with Louie’s adventures?” Webby asked. She wasn't malicious about it, rather she just seemed confused. 

“He needs to be aware of others outside himself, and when he learns that he can plan adventures, not schemes, with you guys again.”

The boys exchange a look, Huey quickly looks at the empty seat, then Mom. Dewey frowned, feeling a protectiveness burst within his chest. Louie was always thinking about others. He disguised it with selfishness, but he was always thinking about them. 

“Louie is very aware of others” Dewey spat the words before he really thought about who they were directed at. Why was Mom saying something so untrue about his baby brother. 

She blinked at him in shock, her mouth hanging open slightly. Dewey was starting to get the feeling that Mom was the one to say something bad to Louie. He really didn’t want to see her. Huey’s eyes darted between Dewey’s clouded expression and Mom’s surprised one. 

“Good Morning Everyone!” Scrooge cheerful calls out, taking his seat at the head of the table. Webby and Lena offer weak greetings, eyes glued to the growing drama at the other end of the table. Scrooge, lowers his paper, taking notice of the lack of greeting from his nephews. He eyes Dewey’s uncharacteristically angry expression, remembering the last time he saw it was when he told the kids about what happened to their mother. Even more surprised to see it aimed at said mother, who seemed just as surprised at her son's anger. 

“Have you not noticed how hard he’s been working? Or how tired he is all the time?”

Della stutters, a heartbroken expression wrinkling around her eyes. Huey and Dewey wait patiently. “I thought he was always like that...I...I didn’t see anything different” 

“Mom have you ever really spent time getting to know him?” Huey quietly askes, but Scrooge can hear the steel edge to his words.

“Of course-”

“No, I don’t think you have” Dewey cuts her off, “If you did then you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t” Dewey struggles to find the words, turning to Dewey to finish for him. 

“You would notice these things.” That wasn’t what Dewey was trying to say, but it was good enough. Mom seemed to put Louie down, judge his actions harsher than their own and pushed him aside. He just couldn’t understand why. 

Lena grabs Webby, quietly slipping from the room. Scrooge sat there, eyeing the family in discomfort. He raises his newspaper, taking refuge behind its ridiculous size and equally ridiculous stories. 

“Guys, I-”

“Why don’t you love him like you love us?” Dewey snaps. Huey is surprised by Dewey’s temper. Normally he would be the one screaming and yelling, not Dewey. He was also surprised at how he was talking to Mom. He loved her so much, but then again, family can lead to the worst sense of betrayal. And Huey thinks Dewey feels very betrayed right now.

“Of course I love him! He’s my son.” She sounds desperate now. Yes of course she loved him-

“But do you like who he is?” Huey asks quietly, having taken hold of Dewey’s wrist, both of them sharing Louie’s vacant seat now. 

“What?” She sounds offended. 

"You don't have to like family, but you can still love them" Hurt glanced over at Scrooge, who had flinched, crinkling his newspaper. 

"Of course I like him" Della quickly defends, staring at her boys with fear. 

"Then spend time with him" 

"Take an interest in what he actually likes to do. It's nice having him help with my badges but he hates it." 

Both boys get up from the table, breakfast unfinished and they waddle out of the room, "we are going to go check on Louie now" they said in their rare moments of spoken unity. 

Della sits there in a moment of defeat, the silence deafening. Scrooge slowly lowers his paper, looking at his niece with find sympathy. 

"The lads have a point dear."

"I feel like the worst mom ever. I will never stop feeling like the worst mom ever" 

"Della dear, you have been back in their lives for only a few months now. All of you have had a decade worth of experiences without each other. I would expect at least that long to properly get to know each of your boys"

"But Louie just-" she glanced at the door, standing and moving to sit closer to Scrooge. 

"I can't let him make the same mistakes as me."

"Ya don't think Donald hasn't spent all his time raising them to be great children?" 

She shakes her head before resting her head in her hand, gazing at the door sadly. Of course her brother would ensure they would turn out different from herself. She knew she had been selfish and rash. The last time they spoke, had been their ugliest fight yet. If anyone would try to ensure the past didn’t repeat itself, it would be him. 

"Louie has an entrepreneurial spirit and looks for the quickest and easiest solutions to his problems. Whether that holds true afterwards is always left to be seen but the kid has a drive, it just needs to be directed, not squished" 

Della deflates even more, "awe lass don't beat yourself up too much. This whole thing is a learning experience for all of yews" 

"I wish this was easier" 

"Every parent does lass" 

The boys trudge back down the hall, Dewey still boiling hot and Huey eager to get back to Louie. They quietly open the door, peaking in slowly. 

Louie was awake and had a wide eyed far off look of fear. He was breathing heavy and was drenched with sweat. His death grip on his pillow spoke volumes to them. He was crying again, and hadn't removed his gaze from the wall in front of him. 

Huey approached first, Dewey closing the door behind them softly. Even when he got on the bed, Louie didn't react, only continuing to stare at the wall. Dewey crawled on next, pulling Louie into a bone crushing hug. He looked down, reaching up to grab his arm. Huey joined in on the other side. 

“I’m sorry. Sorry we never talked sooner, sorry we didn't care, sorry for everything” Huey whispered. 

“Huey..” Louie murmurs.

“Me too Louie. Sorry I forgot about you. Sorry for being a terrible big brother”

“S-kay”

“It really isn't,” Dewey cant put any real force behind the words. 

They all move to laying down. Huey and Dewey look at Louie, while he stares at the wood above them. Huey ran his fingers through his head feathers and Dewey continued to squeeze with all his might. 

“What is family?” He finally speaks. 

“Messy.” Dewey answers.

“Biological” Huey quips. 

“Are we family?”

“No we are best friends. That's something totally different” Huey reassures. He may not have chosen his brothers at first but he did now. Family could be an obligation, but they never would be. He chose them, and always would. 

“Duck brothers forever” Dewey adds. Louie sniffs, the threat of more tears imminent. 

“So if I never stopped scheming and continued to hurt you you would never leave me?”

“I won't lie and say the Timephoon incident didn't hurt me,” Huey answers, speeding up the soothing gestures of his hands when Louie stiffened beside him, “But even that would never make me hate you, and that was pretty bad.”

“Louie, I really don’t get why you want to change, you’re good the way you are.” Dewey’s anger had long since burned out. “What did Mom say to you?”

“What?”

“Stop avoiding the question, I didn’t just get into a fight with Mom for no reason. Now spill”

“You got into a fight with Del-Mom?” Louie’s disbelief is echoed internally by Huey. It was a hard thing to imagine. 

“Yes, now spill” He demands again. 

Louie turned his head, surprised by Dewey’s serious and determined expression. “She said that if I wanted to be a part of this family I had to stop.”

“Stop what” Huey was quick to ask, reaching a hand across Louie to calm Dewey. He was angry too. What kind of mother said such a thing? Threatening to kick him out of this already dysfunctional family because what, he wanted to ensure he or his brothers never lived in poverty again? 

“Stop scheming, stop planning. They only lead to bad things for you guys anyway” He felt and sounded so defeated. 

“I mean I almost lost you guys. It wasn’t on purpose, but still, I almost did that.” Louie could feel his panic rising as the choppy remnants of his last dream resurfaced. His brothers had willingly left him that time. Nothing he did could change their minds. He didn’t try hard enough. He tightened his grip around Dewey’s arm and pushed himself further into Huey. 

“Louie we know that you were just trying to help in your own way,” Dewey tries not to wince at Louie's grip. 

“What if I hadn’t been able to bring you guys back? What if I had been alone forever? What if I mess up again, and you guys really do leave?”

“Woah Louie calm down, that didn’t happen and won't happen. I promise.”

“You can’t promise something like that Huey. Even you don’t know that” 

“You’re right, but I can promise that I, we, will never leave you” 

“Stuck with us forever. Mom just has to accept that” 

“I’m not what she wants.” Louie whispers. 

“She just doesn’t understand you. We know you, that's all that matters” They had tangled themselves together into a more comfortable cuddle pile. 

“Next time you have a nightmare, come get us please. We will help remind you of the truth” Huey is the one to make the request, but Dewey quickly nods along. Louie relaxes between them, closing his very sore eyes, hoping to lessen the headache that had built up. Huey continued his menstrations and Dewey was trying his hardest to lay still. 

“I’m going to go get you some food and water” Dewey detangles himself, Louie smiling. He knew Dewey couldn’t sit still for long. At the sound of the door closing, he closes his eyes once more. 

“If It makes it better, Mom really didn’t realize she messed up.”

“Not really. It wasn’t like I didn’t try to connect with her”

“I know.”

“I miss Uncle Donald. He understands”

“He will be home soon, I’m sure of it” 

There was a gentle knock at the door, both boys glancing at it in confusion until Della poked her head through. 

“Hey boys, oh where’s Dewey?”

Louie stiffened, pulling the covers up to his chin, turning towards Huey. If Della noticed she didn’t show it. Huey glanced at her warily. 

“Getting Louie some food and water,”

“That’s nice of him, how’re you doin bud?” Della kneels besides the bed, reaching towards him. He pulls back, burying himself under the covers. Huey moved to sit up, keeping one hand on his head and the other on his arm. He wiggled so his head was in his lap. 

“Why did you threaten to kick him out of the family?” Louie listens carefully. 

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes you did!” He shouted from beneath the covers. 

“Louie I would never say that.” Della sounds almost angry.

“It was on your stupid recording from when I was grounded. You said that if i wanted to be a part of this family, I had to stop being me.”

“Oh” That's all she can say? Oh. Louie grinds his teeth together. 

“That’s not what I meant” 

“What else could you have possibly meant?” Huey snaps, his own temper now rearing its head. 

“Just that he needed to be more considerate of the family and stop causing problems?”

“Causing problems”

“Wrong word,” Della starts to stubble over her words.

“Listen boys, I wanted to apologize. I’m still trying to figure out this mom thing and I know I keep messing up, but I really want to try”

“If you really wanted to try, you would have spent time with Louie sooner.” 

“I do-”

“No you don’t,” He rejoins the conversation, pulling the covers off his face just enough to breathe easier, “Every time I tried you always had something else to do or it wasn’t ok for me to do.”

“Louie..”

“Della,” He ignores her sharp intake of breath, “It’s going to take more than an ‘I’m sorry’ to fix this. Guess that’s one thing I learned” Louie is bitter and tired and was really done with this day. He wanted things to go back to normal. 

“Mom, we can talk later, Louie needs some time” Huey placates, his tone gently. As Della is about to leave, Dewey re-enters the room, eyeing her warily. A quick glance at Huey has him holding his tongue and marching past her. 

“Here Lou, this will make you feel better. All three boys relax at the sound of the door closing. Louie sits up, carefully drinking the water and nibbling on the lukewarm pancakes. Dewey had clearly used the microwave to reheat them, but he was hungry and didn’t really care right now. 

Things were far from better, but weren’t terrible anymore. Louie felt relaxed, but the nightmares and fears were still there in the back of his mind. He watched Dewey and Huey talk about unimportant topics, smiling softly at the normalcy of it all, despite the circumstances. He can see himself being ok, believe it even. It was just going to take time. And thankfully, they still had plenty of that left, together.


End file.
